Top 5 Tips to Approaching the Pediatric Patient

Children and adolescents are not packs of wolves. You do not need to be afraid of interacting with them. However, they can smell fear. Just kidding….well a little. Children are far more intuitive than most adults will give them credit for and they have great instincts of who to trust. The following 5 tips can help you engage with tiny humans and earn their trust and kindness. Believe me, it is well worth the effort. 

Tip #1: Let them talk for themselves as early as they can. 

The age at which you can let a child tell their story is lower than you would think. It will vary from child to child based on their development, but typically they can give some details by around age 5 years old. The story will be in terms they can understand, but that can be fun by itself. Tap into your own imagination and follow along. Sometimes you will need the parents to help you interpret some descriptions but you can get a pretty good sense talking to kids. Once they are a little older it helps the patient to feel seen and heard when the doctor listens to what they have to say and not just listening to the parents. The patient feeling respected will help you build rapport with the patient and family as well. Plus, it is fun to listen to how children describe their symptoms. Sometimes it is even enlightening. Children truly are resilient. 

Tip #2: It helps if you know some of their slang.

Meet them where they are. I am not saying you need to speak that way but it builds trust if you can understand a joke or a term without them having to explain it. They also might think you are cool….okay maybe not, but we can hope. It also helps to know shows they watch or games they play. If you can converse with them on the things they are excited about, they are more likely to begin to open up to you about how they feel. Again, this is about building a relationship which needs to be based on trust and respect. Seeing things from their point of view goes a long way to generating a long-term relationship and getting them to trust you.

Tip#3: Patience.  It takes a lot of patience.

You need to be comfortable with silence. Be patient while they think of their answers. Let them think of their own words. Let them contemplate what you asked. Some patients will answer quickly, but some may take minutes to process. It is important not to let the parent fill the silence with their own answer. If they do, practice your patience, listen to the parent, and then redirect back to the patient for their answer. True, it is important to get both sides of the story, but it will show the patient that you value their opinion and not just mom and dad’s. Then there are times where a child’s shyness is just insurmountable. That is okay. Reassure them that you will be here when they find their words. You will be ready to listen. 

Tip #4:  Don’t forget to play. 

This is the best part of working with children and adolescents. You get to laugh, play with toys, discuss the latest show or movie. This is an important part of bonding with your patients. Tell them silly jokes, stories of your favorite cartoon episode, tales of your favorite sports team. Whatever sparks interest when you talk to them. Go with it. If they are excited about something that you are not familiar with, ask questions and let them teach you. The subject is important to them and when you show interest in it, you also show interest in them. Ask them what they like about school or outside of school. Being a pediatric specialist allows me to not have to be serious all the time. I tell jokes. I have learned jokes. I have heard the latest gossip. I have fun at work. Kids have interesting perspectives and we can learn a lot about the world listening to them. 

Tip #5: If they offer you a hug, take it.

This may not happen often but when they feel comfortable enough to hug you it is a huge accomplishment. A hug or even a “high five” means so much to me. It is very important to me that children are shown compassion, respect, and care. They have value and are not simply little people with no feelings. Unfortunately, there are scenarios where children don’t feel that they are important to the adults in their life, be it in school or at home. If I can give them a space where they feel special and valuable then I have done possibly one of the most important tasks I can do at my office visit. Medicine is human. Medicine is an art. Remember that when you are planning treatments and discussing side effects. Sometimes we need them as much as they need us. The thank you hug is one of my most precious possessions and I treasure every one I get. 

Children can be difficult to work with sometimes but they keep me honest. They can ask amazing questions or help me see concepts from a different perspective. They can be part of the team if you let them. Just a change in approach and you can be greatly rewarded.